Nelie.....there could be a physcological aspect to it.Maybe you are terrified of choking on the food or liquid while swallowing & involuntarily restrict your muscles & this could be disturbing the process of taking in.
I've noticed that when i'm eating alone,i'm so relaxed & i actually take less time to finish & need few gulps of water,whereas if i'm eating with people around i'm so conscious & i've problems getting the food or sometimes even liquid down.
Another thing i've observed is, if i take small bites & swallow using small gulps then i can't finish my meal as my muscles are tired halfway.I normally take big gulps & swallow with force.
another thing is that,if you are not ready to swallow & liquid goes past then you'll cough it out.I've had total glossectomy & only a little bit of tongue remaining(not visible in my mouth)& my flap is like a fixed base that doesn't move & initially i've had similar problems.Even today if i've swallowed some food or liquid & there's a little remaining which goes in when i'm not ready to swallow(as i need an interval of few seconds between the gulps) then out it comes.I think there's some kind of coordination between taking in food & swallowing it & if there's remaining, then making sure that you keep it in the mouth until the next gulp or in other words when you are ready to swallow.I don't know if i'm making any sense here,it's like eating like any other person from the outside but inside only taking in with gulps which have interval of few seconds.
If there's heavy stiffness(i've had neck dissection) around my neck,which sometimes happens if the weather get cold or if it starts raining then i have problems with swallowing as the muscles feel restricted & tired.
Food with thick sauce or gravy is so much easier.For example soup with soft & small pieces of vegetables is difficult(not impossible),whereas noodles with vegetables in a slight gravy(no need to make it very watery) is easy.The way it works is,since the soup is watery it goes straight in & the vegetables get stuck,whereas with noodles the thick gravy drags the noodles & vegetables inside with it & makes it easier.If there's noodles,all i do is take some corn flour(doesn't alter the taste) & dissolve in warm water & add to the noodles & warm it up.
I do think the swallowing process gets bettter with time.I actually keep a diary of my eating habits & with time the swallowing has improved & i've been able to include new recipes in my diet.
If i can manage soft food like pasta,noodles,well cooked veggies,rice & etc with a total glossectomy,then i'm sure you can do so much better!!