Kristine, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's trials over the years. It has to be hard on you, too.
I am the patient in my family, and I often think how much easier it is on me than it is on my husband/caregiver...because I KNOW how I feel, he can only guess and worry.
I hope you and your Dad can communicate (you said he isn't able to talk right now) your love for one another, because after everything is said and done, that is the important thing.
The love.

Andrea

SCC L lat tongue,Dx 9/15/05 T1N0MX L MND and L lateral hemiglossectomy 10/03/05. Recurrence 11/15/06 2nd surgery 12/04/06 hemiglossectomy 3rd surgery 01/15/07 tonsillectomy Radiation 01/25/07 to 03/08/07 3-D/CRT X 30