Hi Kristie:

I have been away from the OCF forum for awhile due to personal issues and came back tonight to a place I have missed sorely and yours was the first post I read. Surely no accident as I am a nurse and my particular area of interest is the effect being a partner of and caring for a cancer survivor has on the person in the role.

Your post strikes me as less about your venting and more about the salute you deserve for serving in the capacity of partner and caregiver not once but twice-for your daughter and your husband. Surely, most of us reading your story would find that an extraordinary task on most days!I am guessing you are so close to the situation that the magnitude of what you describe in your post doesn't feel that big to you.

I wish I did have a crystal ball to make it better and safe from harm for you and your daughter and husband. Instead, I can validate that you have a found a bit of unexpected magic here at the OCF site. The privacy to share your stress and multiple offers of support and care are here for you every day.The important thing to remember is that caregivers have an equally difficult role as survivors do...the roles are just different.

I often look at my husband David, now almost a 4 year survivor, and I worry, stress, obsess, and lay awake from fright about his future albeit silently, ad most caregivers do, because we don't want to burden the survivor we love with our frustration about what he/she is going through.

Your novel is safe here at OCF because many of us could co-author some of the chapters with you.Welcome and keep writing.

Try to breathe and take a bit of time for you,

Kim