Angie
The only thing I can think to say to you is that you say she has given you permission to act for her in this, and to tell them what ever they intend to do, THEY DO NOT REDUCE THE PAIN MEDICATION EVER.. My family stood guard over my Aunt when she was in hospital, never while she was unable to speak was she left without a family member, it should not need to be so, but it worked, we kept a clipboard at the end of the bed for the family to update daily so we all knew what was happening.. I'm so sorry that you are going to have to be strong and get through this, but you will..
Remember walking in the sunshine... it will shine again for you..
love and hugs
Helen

SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04