Thank you for sharing your experiences, Mark and Joanna. Your information is most helpful. I feel much relieved that we do finally have a plan. My emotions were so fragile Monday while we awaited news; I prayed for strength all day and it came to me by the time we met with the surgeon. It also helped that our surgeon was more positive than was indicated to us last week by the oncologist.

Apparently, they had thought the tumor showing on the outside jawline was "continuous" with the one in his right tonsil. That is why the surgeon said previously that we HAVE to find a chemo that will shrink the cancer because he otherwise didn't think he could get it all. I felt like things were headed toward hopeless after I heard that. However, another doctor examining Scott's CT at Tumor Board said the tumor is NOT continuous and two separate tumors will be easier to remove than one very large one (in addition to other things they have to do). Whew.

My husband also had a CT of abdomen and chest to make sure there was no spread; we were hugely relieved to hear "all clear." We were thankful to have positive things to hang onto (not that docs at UVA have been negative...realistic, although I think they hold back--to a degree, which sometimes scares me and sometimes makes me thankful. It's not that I have my head in the sand, but I guess I worry that I'm not ready to step away from the sandbox just yet.) We know how serious this is, but I can't help but be afraid of what lies ahead. I don't remember who to attribute a saying to that I read on a previous post here, but it went something like "There's no point in worrying about things that you cannot control." I've thought about that a lot and it has helped.

I do have another question to add to my previous ones: I've noticed in the last few days that my husband's face has puffed up more...it is more rounded and not just on the side already becoming misshapen from the cancer growth. We know some of his lymph nodes are tumorous (and there's the one large one), so is the swelling from lymph fluids "backing up" or from side-effects from chemo (like just fluid retention?) The overall puffiness of his face has gotten worse since we were at the medical center Monday. I've tried researching online but haven't found much. I hate to call his doctor with every little thing now that surgery is imminent.

Thanks for all your help and encouragement,

Christine