Thanks to you all,
I made it,took the xanax they told me to and my husband dropped me off at home and went back to work.. I woke up 4 hours later in the chair with my coat still on. HAHA I quess whatever works, now I am a druggie. I am so glad I made it through this first thing. many weeks to go, just one day at a time. I counted, by the way, which I read on here. I hope I will get through the first day with the real machine- just pray for me, and thank you for listening

Partial mandibulectomy and neck dissection 2/3/07. T2NOMO.
Had 14 hour operation which included reconstruction of jaw.
Reconstruction failed. Some radiation, no chemo.