I can't really give a definitive answer to someone else's quality of life definition. It seems as we all embark on this journey, we quickly adjust to whatever we have to work with. As is the case with Darrell, he has learned through his somewhat extended journey that life is the measure of quality of life. I catch myself reminiscing what things were "before" and I migrate towards Darrell's perspective that life in general will always be whatever you want to make of it.

For your MIL, CLF, it will be some time before she will know what any sense of "normal" will be and she is really at the beginning a very long and difficult process. Fortunately, you have come to a place where many have been down this same road. The "fight" ahead, unfortunately will be much more than just the big C. Try to work with her at keeping track of the worst issues first and eventually the list will be smaller.

Best wishes for your MIL and entire family.

Ed

SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023