You are not being too insistent, I think you are being a supportive advocate and asking perfectly reasonable questions. It doesn't sound like you're getting good answers from his doctors and you should not be satisfied with that.

He needs a second opinion on the treatment plan especially about the cancerous lymph nodes and the lack of clean margins on the tumor removal. Originally our doctor thought Jack only had 1 cancerous node but during surgery they found 7 so they removed all 80 nodes in the 1-5 levels for testing. It's pretty standard to continue to check the rest of the chain of lymph nodes to see if they can get clean margins so I don't understand what they're telling you. I too have read that at the minimum levels 1-3 should have been checked in this situation.

It's so easy to second guess all our decisions but please don't let the doctors make you feel that you are doing something wrong here. I've learned to trust my gut instinct and if they can't explain things in a way that makes sense to you then go see someone else. You've already got the appointments set up next week and if the doctors in Chicago agree with the plan then he can make a decision on where to have it carried out.

You need peace of mind that everything is being done that can be and it doesn't sound like you're getting it where you are. You have nothing to lose by getting a second opinion and potentially a great deal to gain.

Get him to Chicago any way you can.
Regards JoAnne