well its nearly here and i really want to go and get the results.
the 4 months of hanging around , worrying and waiting for results is really driving me to madness.

i was a nervous, crying , shaking wreck in the 3 to 4 months leading up to going back to the hospital, then since getting the biopsy 2 weeks ago i seem to have a sudden calmness about me that i never imagined was coming.

the fear and worry seems to have left for the time being and has been replaced with some anger and impatience,

i am so angry with all the twinges and pains that i fell in my throat, neck, chest and back/shoulder area, i get bloody angry because i dont know if its just my imagination running riot and whether it will all just dissapear if i was lucky enough to get good news on monday.

also annoying me is the fact that my tongue was fine until i got the biopsy, now theres a large white area that has a kind of hard feeling underneath that was never there before the biopsy, im hoping its just to do with the biopsy and stitches.

as i said i am just fed up waiting and now just want to go and find out either way so i can either get on with my bloody life or start doing something about this.

the aches and twinges are really peeving me right off !!!!!

Derek