oh, and just so that everyone knows ... if only we cared for ourselves as much as we do our son.

We have live in one of the most anti-smoker households owned by smokers. We moved into our place when i was expecting our son and i have never let anyone smoke inside ... regardless of weather.

no one is allowed to smoke near the door or any open windows.

i keep my hair tied back and make sure the wind doesn't blow smoke back onto me.

i have smoking clothes, lol. i take them off the moment that i get inside. then i wash my hands, brush my teeth and clean my mouth, drink some water, etc.

the same rules go for my car because my son travels in it.

and the best thing is, smoking is getting really old because of all of my rules! I used to be able to stand outside all day long regardless of weather, but now i find that the weather and rules keep me inside more and more.

i'm really optimistic about quitting this time. the last times i tried i was fairly successful, but i was on a medication that made it virtually impossible to quit. it caused so much anxiety that i always felt like i wanted to smoke.

i feel like i am running close to a deadline, though. my son is getting older and more observant ... and i do NOT want him to ever take a chance with smoking. addiction runs rampant in our families.

for me, it only took the first cigarette ... scary stuff.