Barb,

There are several similarities between my case and yours (and some of the others above). Here goes:

1) Diagnosed in 1989 at age 39; nonsmoker, social drinker.
2) Found lesion myself (couldn't possibly miss it -- it was on the side of my tongue and getting larger and more painful).
3) Had various appointments with dentist, internist, and oral pathologist over MANY months, all of whom kept saying it couldn't be anything serious because I didn't have the typical risk factors.
4) Was referred to an oral surgeon, after previous doctors concluded it was "probably" a benign tumor; oral surgeon intended to remove it, but quickly determined it looked suspicious and performed a biopsy instead.
5) Oral surgeon referred case to oncologist, who engaged a tumor team based at Dana Farber Cancer Center in Boston; team concluded that partial glossectomy and neck dissection were necessary, followed by approximately 40 doses of radiation.

Thank God I've made it 15 years (and counting). I have regular checkups with my oncologist and oral surgeon, who continue to be vigilant about monitoring symptoms.

Cathy