I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My sister is having surgery for tongue cancer on 7/1. I hope you won't mind some general suggestions. I was the primary caregiver for both my Mom and Dad when they were ill. First and foremost make sure you are getting any and all questions you have answered by the doctors...it is key to advocate for yourself and your loved one. I would like to suggest Hospice/Palliative Care. Many people have misconceptions that they are only for those who are dying soon. Not so! They were a tremendous support for our family (medical,emotional support 24hrs/day) and may help take some burden off of your Mom.

Your Mom may need to consider an antidepressent for a while until she adjusts. It helped my Mom when things were bad with Dad. Go to the doctor with her and tell him what is going on. He will have some suggestions as to assistance.

My thoughts are with you and your family. Make sure you all take care of yourselves. Caregiving is a very difficult labor of love.