Thank you all for responding so very quickly to me. As I mentioned I've been dealing with this for years. It is really only in the passed1-2 years that I've been on psycological overload about it.

I've had numerous biopsy's and lasers sugery, the first actually surgery was in June of 1999. I got a few years with just painful sores and lukeoplakias., By August of 2003 I had later another sugery. I was still ok with that one. At least I got some time between them. But then 6 months later the sores were malignant again and more sugery.I made it to Sept of 2007 before another surgery including the neck disection, teeth removed, some jaw taken. Then I only got a week before those nice clean margins were malignant again.

I am emotional a crazed lunatic. I know we watch them very carefully and treat them very early. But I'm in and out of work either recovering from surgery, doped up on pain meds, or just in pain.

I see a pain mgmt Dr. who has the pain under reasonable control...although my concentration at work is not great. I love my Doc at Slan Kettering and have a lot of faith in him. But am I crazy to with it was breast cancer? We could just remove it, have the chemo and be done with it.

Right now, every time I go to the oncologist, I don't know if I'll be cancelling everything on my calendar for the next 2 weeks , or going to the weekend plans after all.

Anyone know of a support group in northern jersey that may be able to help with the mental problems of this recurring nightmare?

Thanks,
Leslie