JoAnne makes some really good points. It's true, we all go thru the shock stage - even the caregivers - but we do settle into the "new reality". It seems easier once you get into a routine i.e. going to rad treatments, appointments, phone calls, charting medications and food, etc. Once you have a plan and can start fighting the cancer, it helps you to feel more in control - the anxious moments are not quite as raw and the good moments are appreciated more and more. You may read a a lot of cases where the cancer does come back, but you can also read a lot of those that do not come back. So the "what ifs" can also be "what if it does not come back". . . and this helps you to enjoy the "now" and all the special good moments that come your way. Jayann, it does sound like your boyfriend is getting very good care and the doctors sound encouraging, too, so, keep hanging on to the good parts and to each other, and keep coming back here and let us know what's happening.