Hi Lyle 4,
I'm sure you will be getting more advice from others on this board, but the first thing to consider is whether you are being treated at a comprehensive cancer center in upstate New York, that is experienced with oral cancer and takes a team based approach to treating the disease.

A team will often include a surgeon, medical oncologist, radiation oncologist, oral surgeon and/or dentist. It sounds like you have a case that needs such a comprehensive approach.

This page on the Oral Cancer Foundation site,
http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/resources/cancer_centers.htm,
will show you the possibiliteis for upstate New York. Best, Sheldon