Hello to all of you angles, I am having a bit of a crying spell after reading all of yor replys. I am away from home,the Orient, which had been planned and paid for for some time (before I found out about my dad). I am on the cancer roller coaster. I feel guilty for leaving, my dad insisted. I am trying to stay cool for him, he has always lived vicariously through me and my kids, eventhough he has done his share of traveling, he loves my stories and pictures and souviniers. He wasn't going to have surgery until August 15 and now it has been moved up to July 31. He doesn't want me to come back because he says he will be "out of it" and won't know the difference.(My aunt and uncle will be there pre-op, post care etc.) He says for me to finish my trip, put the kids in school hen I get back August 15 and then come. I am ready to vomit when I think about then surgery and if something goes wrong. When do you ignore what your dad says and do what you feel is right? Am I always going to think every second is his last? I try to do the mantra over and over-"living with cancer, no dying from cancer" Why does it feel the same? I am still new to the game. It hasn't even been a mont. It feels like tens years. I am though flabergashted when I read the stories on here. I laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. You are all so truely god sent to me I treasure every story and person and loved one of you all. It is the old saying knowledge is power, and also the best education you can get is through everyday life and its experiences.

One last thing, the nodes on my dads neck are to be removed and the one is close to the main artery in the neck. If it is to close, will the doctor just leave the part they can't get to without hiting that artery and do radiation or will they try to get it and if they hit someting that is just a risk they have to take? Has anyone been through through this?

Thank you all, Karen