Welcome to OCF, Bakergirl! Thanks for joining our online family

Unfortunately many oral cancer (OC) patients do not have any major symptoms before they are officially diagnosed with OC. This is especially true when its patients who are HPV+. Who would have ever considered a slight earache, scratchy throat, feeling like something is stuck in your throat but you are unable to cough it out among many other vague minor ailments could be cancer? For me, I had dismissed my minor health issues thinking I was just coming down with a sinus infection, strep throat, a variety of the latest flu or even just a common cold. You just never know ... Mild vague symptoms that seemingly do not fit together actually could be a very serious illness or if its not managed correctly a life threatening issue. Some OC patients say they had severe pain while others havent felt anything different, no pain at all. Everyone should be their own best advocate for themselves. You know your body the best and when something doesnt feel right it could be your body's warning you to get things checked out by a medical professional. One of the best things I can tell you to do is to read and educate yourself about OC so you are the strongest possible advocate when you need to be.

You can absorb tons of info by reading thru hundreds of posts here on our public forum and/or learn about OC on the main OCF site as well. I added a link to the end of this reply that takes you to our main OCF site. In the Understanding section you can read page after page of important OC info knowing when you are using an OCF site, you are getting correct medical info from a reliable source where only scientifically proven procedures, medications, etc are shared.

Even though you mentioned 8 family members who had a cancer diagnosis that was terminal, that does NOT mean IF you were diagnosed with OC it would end badly as well. Whenever talking about OC, always remember everybodys different! They will all respond to medications, recoveries, treatments, surgeries in their own unique manner. This is something that is not an equal comparison with other cancer patients... not ever!!!

When someone is diagnosed with a serious medical condition, they will remember everything about that moment. When they hear their doctor say... "Im very sorry to tell you this, you have cancer" many cancer patients and/or caregivers tend to not hear anything else. Unless that person has been thru that experience with a relative and/or close friend, they cant fully comprehend whats going on. After having OC 3x, I now have the worlds worst memory, but I can remember every detail of when I first heard those dreaded words. I was absolutely shocked when my doc gave me the official diagnosis. The very limited info I thought I knew about cancer did not apply to my situation, or anyone elses either! As an overly independent, single mother raising 2 teenagers 100% by myself, I just couldnt be sick!!! A cancer diagnosis did not fit into my lifelong retirement plans of becoming a snowbird after my children were grown, responsible adults that could stand on their own 2 feet. Those few words when put together carry along a feeling of doom and gloom. That cancer diagnosis was one of the lowest points in my entire life, it was before I knew enough about cancer to never again take anything for granted. I was perfectly content living in my little bubble world raising my children by myself without knowing anything about cancer. Boy was I in for the shock of my life and didnt even see it coming. My eyes were opened when I started reading and learning about OC. Im telling you this as you sounded a bit like how I used to be before cancer changed my entire life (surprisingly mostly for the better). I was 44 years old, with a great job, beautiful country home, 2 good kids and my future had been meticulously laid out where I would be doing great when I retired. Even the best made plans can go wrong and with that cancer diagnosis came along, all those well made plans were stomped on right into oblivion.

For now, please do yourself a big favor and do your best to stay super busy to keep your mind from playing the "what if..." game. When waiting on test results or for an important appointment, do things that require your full attention, start a new hobby, read a good long book with a great plot or any other positive things to help make the time pass easier with less anxiety. Remember... worrying has never changed a test result or helped anyone feel better. All the extra unneeded stress is counter-productive to everyone. Its NOT easy to avoid the "what ifs..." but with practice you will be able to limit how much time you allow yourself to go there without it ruining your entire day or morning, etc. We're here to help if you needs us. As a group comprised of OC patients/survivors and caregivers, we have been where you are and we all hope you will never need our assistance. If you would, then we always will do our best to help you.

Best wishes with everything!!!


Main OCF Site, Understanding section