Welcome to OCF, EBH! Im very glad you and your husband are part of our online family! We will help you both as much as possible with info and support.

After reading posts here and also important info from the main OCF site Im sure you are learning how complex this disease is along with treatments and the recovery phases can be difficult for many. I cant stress enough about how vitally important your husbands intake will become. The better the intake on a daily basis the easier everything will be. Every single day he will need at least 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water.... every single day!!! Right now as he prepares to begin treatments, he should be eating all his favorite foods, desserts too. He does NOT want to go into this with cravings as his sense of taste and ability to eat are likely to be temporarily affected.

Im guessing your husband will be given cisplatin for chemo. If he notices any difference in his hearing he must tell his doc right away!!! Make certain he doesnt downplay it thinking its not important with so man y other things going on. Cisplatin can be very hard on the kidneys and also is known to cause some high frequency hearing loss thats permanent. Push the fluids the day before, day of and day after getting chemo. Thats very important in helping to flush that poison out of his body. He probably will be given extra fluids along with the chemo but he still should push fluids around the chemo days to help avoid bigger problems later. If theres any hearing changes do NOT let your husband get another dose of the same type of chemo. It can be changed to something else like carboplatin. If nausea is a problem from the chemo (usually hits about a week after the dose of chemo is given) take anti-nausea meds around the clock even if he thinks its ok to skip a dose overnight... dont do it!!!! Once that nausea hits, it hits hard and its almost impossible to get ahead of it anytime soon. By taking them around the clock, anti-nausea meds can help avoid some very bad days/nights of being in the bathroom hanging onto the toilet. I prefer zofran which works best for me but others have like compazine. For me, compazine caused restless leg syndrome which was absolutely horrible!!! I was like a zombie pacing back and forth unable to sit down to rest. This happened not long after I had started seeing tv ads for restless leg syndrome and foolishly thought it wasnt real. I quickly learned there really was such a thing and I was exhausted from pacing.

Theres going to be many people who ask what they can do when they hear of your husbands illness. Dont be surprised if you dont hear all kinds of stories like from your neighbors sisters best friends cousin who had XYZ cancer and used some obscure item against conventional treatments. People who relay those stories are just trying to be helpful but they do not have the info that really will help. Oral cancer for some can be difficult to get thru with it affecting so many important things like eating, drinking, talking, kissing children goodnight, etc. Its NOT like other cancers!!! I had never known such a thing existed until I was diagnosed with it the first time in 2007. Anyone who offers help let them know when the times comes you will let them know what they can do take down all their contact info. Having children at home means there really will be a million things friends and relatives can do to help get your family thru this rough patch. There may be times where grocery shopping just isnt happening and someone could pick up a few items and drop them off to help, a play date for the kids or taking them out to the movies, picking up prescriptions, walking the dog, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, driving your husband back and forth to treatments, getting kids hair cuts are all just a few things that can add up to be a HUGE relief when everyone is focused on getting your husband thru treatments, into recovery phase and back on his feet.

If your husband is uncomfortable make sure that is relayed to his medical team. Many cancer patients take medications to help with pain. Its not unusual to take a couple different meds while going thru treatments and starting the recovery phase. Just make certain your husband always speaks up and talks freely to his medical team. They're there for him and need to be aware of every single thing he has going on. Before taking over the counter medicine, vitamins and any herbal items make sure its run past the medical team. Some vitamins and supplements can negatively affect treatments. Many oral cancer (OC) patients struggle with the mental aspect of being recently diagnosed as well as accepting all the upcoming changes and challenges. It definitely can be alot to handle! Many OC patients and their caregivers too need some help to get thru a few rough weeks/months. Often patients resist seeking a therapist to speak with but it really can be very helpful. Theres a million other things I could go into but I think Ive already given you quite alot to think about. Feel free to ask questions. We will do our best to help you both get thru whatever you are facing. As a caregiver you have a difficult job! Dont forget to take some time just for you once in a while to help clear your head.

Hang in there! We're in your corner