Murphy, I'm saddened to read this.
Please get another treatment opinion from a top Comprehensive Cancer Centre. Your life may just depend on it.
By the way, I would do the neck dissection, most definitely . Last times has no relevance to this time. This new tumour may well have seeded to the nodes. And it does not mean its curtains.
Get another opinion first. But do get the neck dissection.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!