Welcome to OCF, Heather! Im very sorry to read about your husbands recent diagnosis! You have found a great resource to help you both get thru everything you both are facing.
As far as having a headache goes, it may be associated with the oral cancer (OC) or could be from all the recent stress and worrying which all newly diagnosed patients and caregivers go thru. Im sure you both are feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. Sometimes patients have some inflammation which can push on nerves causing pain, maybe the headaches are from inflammation? The shock of a cancer diagnosis causes unneeded stress, anxiety and leads many to "what if" thinking which causes more stress and is detrimental to your health. Ive been there myself and remember it took me a little while to get my head on straight, take a deep breath and face the facts of my tOC diagnosis and treatment head on. For many patients OC unfortunately does not always present obvious symptoms which is why its so important to get OC screenings every year at your dental check up. Who would think having an ear ache, scratchy throat, ear pain, trouble swallowing intermittently, and/or a painless bump/lump/sore that is red or white thats been there for over 2 weeks, and many other seemingly minor ailments could be something as serious as OC? This is why often OC isnt discovered until it is in its later stages. Even a patient diagnosed as Stage IV can be successfully treated regardless of what, if any symptoms they have had or might not have noticed. Hopefully on his road to becoming diagnosed with OC, his doctors have given him something to manage his severe headache, something stronger than the usual over the counter pain meds. Headaches like what you described your husband has can be debilitating. If his docs havent given him anything to help, call on Monday and ask for a prescription to be called in.
Im sure you have your hands full right now. If you have any close friends or relatives who offer their assistance you might want to consider having them help out while your husband is in the hospital by staying there so you can take a break and attend to anything else you need to do. If at all possible, someone being there around the clock to run interference with the hospital staff will be a huge help to advocate for your husband. He may not feel very good after the surgery being in alot of pain, possibly unable to speak clearly or without great difficulty. Anyone who offers to help can help you both later too. Theres a million small things that can add up to be a huge help when a cancer patient is going thru treatments or is recovering and not feeling strong or up to doing too much. Things like walking the dog, picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy, doing a load of laundry, bringing you a home cooked meal, mowing the yard, vacuuming, taking your car for an oil change or service, if you have children taking the kids out for a day of fun or taking them to their activities or playdates, hanging out with your husband for a few hours to give you a break so you can go out to lunch with friends, take care of your own things, take a long walk, go to a movie, etc . In all of this going on I am sure you have your head spinning. Make certain you make time for just you to be able to have a change of scenery and catch your breath. Being a caregiver is work... hard work!!! I greatly admire caregivers as they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders all the while having a genuine smile on their face and hiding any of their concerns. Caregivers are taking care of all their usual household duties, plus taking on what their spouse normally handled, most will continue to hold down their job, make a million phone calls plus keeping track of appointments, remembering which doc does what and who to call for what ailment for your patient, managing medications, special dietary needs that are different than yours, being a nurse to their patient, keeping in touch with friends and relatives about your husbands changes, procedures, or surgeries and all kinds of other things. All of this can be overwhelming to many caregivers who already had a full plate before cancer forced its way into their life. Its alot for anyone to manage which is why its so important to take time here and there thats just for you.
Hope this info helps. Please feel free to ask questions. We're here to help you both and make it as easy as possible to get thru some difficult things. Best wishes with everything!!!
Below is a link to our main OCF site where you will find lots of interesting reading to help you both.
Main OCF site, Understanding Oral Cancer
