Linda, I too recommend a 2nd opinion from a large Comprehensive Cancer Centre. This is huge surgery for anyone, let alone an 86 year old who is already compromised by COPD. I know that if this was my Mother she would refuse and as her Power of Attorney I would support this decision. I feel that quality of life at this age is the ruling decision maker, rather than length of life.
This is an awfully hard decision and I don't envy you. Wishing you and your Mum the best outcome.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!