Hello everybody,

I am absolutely DEVASTATED! I got through the surgery, 35 rad treatments and thought I was on the mend but weird things kept popping up. Itching in my left ear, an ulcer on the top of my tongue by the suture line and an owie on the bottom left of tongue that's persisted for weeks. When the ulcer showed up on the top of my tongue, I jumped into action. I saw my oncologist and he ordered a stat CT scan. He said that the film was indecisive and wanted me to visit my surgeon. Saw the surgeon today who did a punch biopsy. He didn't even have to wait for the results. He said that the tumor was persistent and neither surgery or radiation were able to eradicate it.
He said that I am not a surgical candidate nor can I do radiation again. He wants me to meet with the team of medical oncologists to see what the next steps would be. He started talking about immunotherapy and trials. All I could think of was death. OC has gotten me. I am so upset. I have a 12 year old daughter at home who I'll miss seeing grow up. I can't handle that! I've been spending the day in bed, alternately crying and sleeping.
Next steps are to meet with the medical oncology team. How does one get through these dark days and manage?