I think sometimes that Oral Cancer must be one of the weirdest cancers that way... you don't even know you have it and it's gone by the time you do, sometimes ... that's how my first time was. I had a little more time to process, as we waited a couple more months for the neck dissection (I have no idea why, at this point, it's all hazy), but that was clear, too, and it was good. When you are healed (and I do mean really healed), see if you can get into a therapist ... a feeding and speech therapist. You may not feel like you need much help with speech and feeding (which would be awesome!), but mine also had some GREAT massage techniques for reducing the swelling in the neck and also working out the scar tissue, which CAN get better if you work at it the right way. Since you haven't had radiation, this is a good thing and should mean you have a better chance of it getting closer to 'normal', though you're going to want to watch for the lymphedema part for a long while. (I did have radiation later, so that may have impacted how much scar tissue I had to fix ... but it *is* something that certain therapists are trained for ... it doesn't hurt to ask.)

And ((hugs)). You definitely found a great forum for questions, so you're ahead of the game that way!