Im so very sorry to read about your friend! Receiving an oral cancer (OC) diagnosis is the last thing any of us want for anyone close to us. Your friend is very lucky to have you helping her!!!
The following link has hours of reading that will help your friend to learn more about her illness. There are all kinds of important topics covered .... diagnosis, treatments, nutrition, etc. Im sure your friend will better understand what she is facing after reading some of the topics in the link. As you know theres a million and one little things patients pick up as they go thru diagnosis, treatments and recovery phases. We all know a bit of info that when shared usually is enough to give other inquiring members a much better understanding of OC, treatments and/or recovery issues. For example, I have picked up way more feeding tube info than I ever thought I needed to know.
Main OCF Site, Understanding sectionI hope your friend will decide to join our forum. Her identity is protected as all of our members respect everyones confidentiality. We only know what she will decide to tell us. It sounds like your friend will depend on many others to help her get thru whatever she is facing. Besides our forum, I suggest your friend call the American Cancer Society (available 24/7/365) and ask about their patient/driver program. Transportation back and forth for treatments and appointments is usually something most patients can not do themselves. There are many survivors and caregivers across the US who volunteer their time and vehicles to help others get to their appointments. I have used this and greatly enjoyed meeting survivors who really did understand what it was like going thru cancer and its treatments. Its nice to be able to talk freely with someone who you have a common bond with. I only used their service a couple times but was so impressed at the kindness of strangers that I became a volunteer driver myself and occasionally driver someone who needs a ride. The driver program can take a few weeks to set up so its best to call right away and get her paperwork started. The ACS also gives patients a voucher of up to $300 either to help cover their medication costs, a wig, transportation costs , or a combo of whichever the patient chooses.
Anyone who offers your friend help should be added to a list of peoples names and full contact info. Tell the generous helpers when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help. Being that your friend will be away from home, there are things in both locations that will need attention so I suggest starting 2 lists of helpers. If she owns a home she would need someone to upkeep her yard, check the house, if she is leaving her vehicle home periodically start her car, etc. For where she will be staying, she will need prescriptions picked up from the pharmacy, positive activities like getting a manicure or pedicure, going to get her hair done, an occasional dinner out, etc are all things that can help your friend to stay positive and also give her a little boost. As your friend goes the treatments, the little things I mentioned can become big things that your friend will look forward to and give her a sense of normalcy.
At her treatment center your friend should ask what other services are available to patients. There may be counseling, nutrition sessions, patient/survivor groups, etc. When meeting with different doctors, she needs to ask as there are far too many other medical things doctors cover often forgetting to mention other things that help patients besides conventional medical treatments. Some facilities also have financial aid if thats something she may need info on. But she must ask herself or likely will not know about these other things. They may also have a wall of brochures available and the facilities website should mention other helpful things available.
Her intake is one of the most important things in having your friend successfully get thru the treatments and recovery phases. As you know, I can be a bit of a nag about intake but Im always doing it for the patients own good. I fell into a viscous downward spiral where I suffered so much more than I should have if I put more attention on my intake. I nag others so they can avoid the pitfalls I suffered thru. Intake is one of the things patients tend to view as significantly less important than it is. Your friend needs to begin immediately watching her intake. She should start eating all her favorite foods, desserts too without being concerned about putting on a few pounds. If your friend is on the average or slim side adding a few pounds prior to any treatment would be a very good idea. Every single day from right now thru at the very least your friend hits her one year anniversary of finishing all her treatments she need to take in a bare minimum of 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water daily. If the patient is taking in 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water every day and they are losing weight, their intake needs to be higher. Taking in 3000 calories or even more during their cancer battle sounds like a huge amount but its not to a cancer patient whose body is working overtime trying to fight the cancer and rebuild itself. No skimping and thinking tomorrow is another day, tomorrow they'll do better... tomorrow never comes and it becomes a game of playing catch up where its impossible to catch up. Intake, following doctors orders, and managing pain are all the key things necessary to getting thru everything that is coming up, regardless of what treatment plan the patient has.
Hopefully your friend will join our group and we can help get her thru whatever she may be facing. Its best to interact directly with the patient and/or their caregiver so they can freely post their concerns and we can help as well as any additional questions that arise with the natural flow of conversation. Theres really nothing special to tell your friend before she joins OCF. Any stage or cancer technical info are things that can get discovered after joining. Those things will help us to better help her. The further along she goes with her diagnosis and treatment plan being created the more info she will have and learn about. We're like a huge long lost family around here. Best wishes to your friend and all those great people she has helping her to get thru her battle.
