Good morning all,

I want to start off by saying how wonderful it is to find a group like this. I am forging a journey to find as many resources for my mom who is the OC patient. At this time, I live near DC and my mom lives in FL. She as been diagnosed with Stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue. Glossectomy is scheduled for next Friday, July 7th after a whole body PET on July 3rd. This is the 3rd occurrence of oral cancer for her and by far the absolute worst. She was supposed to have surgery for a partial glossectomy and removal of lymph nodes on right side of neck on June 23rd, but the surgeon and his team halted their original plan when they where able to see exactly how serious the cancer was. It seems this time the cancer is more aggressive and rapid than in the past.

I am doing all I can from a long distance to help my mom ask the right questions of the surgeon and oncologist, etc. so that her decisions are made with as much confidence as one can expect to have in this situation. We talk all the time so that she knows she has support. There is no family that lives near her and my stepdad has failing health as well. She is terrified of a permanent feeding tube, the tracheotomy that is necessary with her upcoming surgery and I want to inform her gently of what to expect so that she isn't struck with an incapacitating fear when she wakes up from surgery.

I have 2 small children and a husband with a very demanding schedule (he works from Dept of Homeland Security) so trying to plan my trips down as best I can. I want to be there for her every step of the way.

For those who have gone through this, I welcome any and all answers to the following questions:

1. What is the best time for me to go (before or after surgery)? Was it helpful to have a familiar face there when you woke up? (Trying to plan my trip but I have some obstacles- mainly no one to watch my kids as my MIL who would do so ordinarily just had major surgery herself.)


2. What advice would you give my mom who is at the start of her battle to fight this cancer?


I have been reading posts all morning and am so amazed by the courage, determination and strength of this group. Thank you for reading this.