hi yike. you can join my choir haha if we dont laugh we will cry .i am also a laryngectomee .yes ive gone through everthing you mention ,its been 8 months since op;and i still stuggle but i believe there is light at the end of the tunnel its a long road this one, this op made my bilateral mastectomy like a walk in the park ...no disrespect to anyone this is certainly a tough one i sometimes think i will wake up from a nihtmare.we must remain strong and positive to fight this the beast of beasts GRRRRRR TAKE CARE YIKES best wishes as you travel the road ...maz