Welcome to OCF! You have found the very best resource for info and support. We will help you both get thru the treatments and recovery phases.
I suggest you read posts on the forum and also read the main OCF site. Educating yourself about your husbands illness makes for a strong advocate. Just remember everyones different and may experience things slightly different than others, even those with the same exact diagnosis.
For right now your husband should focus on eating all his favorite foods. His sense of taste and ability to swallow may make eating difficult for a while so eat now. Dont worry about gaining weight, he should enjoy eating everything and have dessert too. Many OC patients undergo substantial weight loss during their treatments so adding a few extra pounds is a good idea.
Your husband will have many appointments prior to any treatments starting. If having radiation treatments, the following is very important. Make sure to have a full blood workup done including testosterone and thyroid levels. Its important to have a baseline for these numbers before any treatments start. Your husband should get a thorough dental check up and take care of any questionable teeth, get flouride trays made.
Since your husband does not yet have a treatment plan, I suggest a second opinion. If at all possible at a Comprehensive Cancer Center (CCC) in your area. Thats a treatment facility where a team based approach is used so all the specialists are on the same page. Hopefully a CCC is an option for your husbands treatment. When looking at treatment plans, remember surgeons always say surgery is the way to go, same for radiologists and medical oncologists say chemo is necessary. Also remember once its been removed you cant put it back to its original functionality (even with skin graphs). This is why a second opinion is so important!
List of CCCs Anyone you talk to about your husbands condition who offers their assistance, tell them when the time comes you will let them know how they can help. Make sure you make a list of everyone with their contact info. This could come in handy down the road.
As a caregiver you have your hands full. Make sure to take some time to be good to yourself. We are here to support not just your husband but you too. We understand just how hard it is for both of you. Stick with us and we will help you both thru everything.
NCI Cancer Centers Main OCF site -- Understanding Oral Cancer (diagnosis, treatments, etc.) 
