I am so sorry you and struggling with this! I cant imagine how you manage to be cheery when your husband is so down on everything. To me, it sounds like you are a wonderful supportive caregiver.

Depression is very common with oral cancer patients. Even caregivers can have a hard time coping with everything they are facing. Many patients (and caregivers) need anxiety meds and a good experienced therapist to help them thru it. Being force to face your own mortality (or your spouses) can be overwhelming for many. Some feel there is a stigma around seeking this type of help so many patients (and caregivers) who could benefit wont get the help they need. I would suggest asking his doctors or nurses if the treatment center has in terms of this type of help.

Maybe have a few close friends or relatives stop by for visits and give you a break even if for only an hour or two. I would also try to encourage him to take a very short walk and gradually increase the distance every other day or so. Maybe start just walking out to get the mail and maybe around the outside of the house building up to walking around a few blocks of your neighborhood. The fresh air and exercise will help get your husband up and out so he doesnt only sit around feeling upset everyday.

Hang in there, it will get better. This whole thing can be overwhelming to most patients and caregivers. This phase is only temporary. It takes a long time to recover and bouncing back can never be fast enough. Sounds like you are doing great by reminding your husband of everything he has accomplished. Keep up the positive attitude as long as possible. In time it is bound to rub off and help.

((((HUGS)))