My mother went through something very similiar to what you describe. She had neck surgery followed by a full course of radiation which ended in August. By December it was evident that she needed surgery to remove over 1/2 of her tongue part of the floor of her mouth and her right mandible. She was in the hospital for a month during which time she turned 79. Eventually she returned home and was self sufficient. The surgery was no picnic and she had lasting effects to her speech and all food had to be pureed before she could eat it, but she persevered and did very well on her own. We were surprised at how well she did due to her age and the extensive surgery that she underwent.