That you are eating normally and thinking about gaining weight is a positive sign showing you are successfully getting through this despite the (significant) pain. I said in my previous post that today all we have to do is figure out how to get through today, tomorrow will take care of itself. Well, sometimes when the pain is at it's worst (and you may be there right now), we figure out what we have to do to get through it hour by hour.

That you are able to write as well as you are doing is another indication that despite it seeming like it's really bad, that you are handling it quite well. You are being tested by this, not doubt about it, but you're not being found lacking. Even your choice of usernames shows a lot of strength.

So, go see the doc when you need too, be persistent with him/her until you get your needs met. Camp out on his doorstep if necessary, but get those needs met. You are learning how to be a good advocate for your own care. Doing that often looks like being the squeaky wheel in need of grease. I thought I was a royal pain in the side of my RO (radiation oncologist), but he said it was no problem at all because it showed I was really involved in my own care. Despite the extra work it creates for them, they actually like it when patients are good advocates for their own care. My doc said most patients were not good advocates. They wouldn't talk, wouldn't ask questions and didn't want to learn about their disease, it's treatment, or what they could do to make it better. That just makes everything harder on them.

Now, to answer your question, do you really need to gain that much weight? The answer is both a yes and a no. That you will lose weight in treatment is literally a guarantee. I've seen no one go through treatment and not lose weight. All I had was radiation and surgery (no chemo, because of no lymph node involvement), but I still lost 42 pounds; and I had very few side effects. I was able too and did eat pretty much normally throughout treatment. Now, I was a plump little donut before treatment began, so I had the extra weight to lose. But if I had been skinny before treatment that much weight loss would have created a medical emergency.

You don't know this yet, but will learn it soon enough. Lose too much weight, become malnourished and they both put you in the hospital (to feed you intravenously) AND they stop your cancer treatment until you regain weight and strength. You don't want them to stop your treatment in mid cycle, that's bad for you and good for the cancer. So, we tell all new members, to eat, eat, eat. It's way better to have some extra weight you can afford to lose than the alternative of losing weight you can't afford to lose. Besides that, you will lose a significant amount of your taste for food, so enjoy the things that taste good right now, because soon enough they won't taste good anymore. Ask us how we know this, like I said I'm one year post treatment and food still tastes mediocre to bad.

I've written too much already, keep fighting, you are doing great, you will win this battle.

Tony