Hi Sandy,
You found a great resource here. I started reading posts on this forum after my husband was found to have a 4.7 cm mass at the base of the tongue, which is way back in the throat, not the oral tongue. You mentioned base of tongue, which would be the same area. I learned so much about what to expect, important things to do, and how others have coped.

One of the first things I did was to start preparing for lots of unknowns in the future. We got a durable power of attorney in case he was unable to handle any banking or other matters that might arise. We got advance directives and healthcare power of attorney documents. Some of these need to be witnessed and/or notarized, depending on your State laws. I hope we never need either, but I won't have to stress about if we ever get to that point. We made a list of everything he needed to do around the house while he was feeling ok. You know, all those little repairs and chores that pile up over the summer.

Of course, there were lots of appointments and procedures. PET scan and surgical biopsy were the first. We talked to a general oncologist at the local community hospital and quickly realized it was worth driving an hour and 15 minutes to the nearest city, to the academic medical center with a head and neck cancer clinic. They re-analyzed his tissue samples and reinterpreted the PET scan, staged him at a tumor board, and went over treatment options. Great team, very comprehensive care, totally up to date on everything I've read on the forum.

Based on I learned here, he got right in to the dentist for a check up. We elected to have all his amalgams replaced with composite fillings. That may have been an over reaction, but it gave us something to do while waiting for treatment to start. He got fluoride trays and super fluoridated toothpaste.

We got him a big, comfy recliner. He's tall and his feet hang over the end of most recliners, so we got the super sized chair and he LOVES it. Now that he's in treatment, it's great for resting, naps, and tube feeding.

He chose to go ahead with a feeding tube before starting rads and chemo. It's a controversial topic here, but for him it was the right call. Due to the size and location of his tumor, he had swallowing problems and significant weight loss even prior to the diagnosis, and issues with aspiration pneumonia very early on. However, thanks to Christine's refrain about 2,500 - 3,000 calories minimum, he's kept his weight up pretty well.

I learned to pace myself and take a break from thinking and reading about cancer. It gets overwhelming at some point, and you just need a change of topic and scenery! We deliberately paced ourselves when it came to telling people the news.

This is all still pretty new to me, too. I hope some of what I've learned will be helpful to you. Hang in there. Everyone keeps saying "be sure to take care of yourself, too," so I will say it to you now.

Hugs and best wishes.