Your post scares me a tad.
If I was you I would be seeking a second and third opinion. I would be running to a CCC - comprehensive cancer centre , they have been proven to have better patient outcomes.
My Husband had complete reconstruction of his pharynx and oropharynx. He was 60 yrs old. He was also post radiation which does indeed impact on healing.
Kris is living a good life and doing well now 2 1/2 years after his salvage surgery with reconstruction.
I'm sure others who have had this type of surgery will come along and comment shortly.
There is always hope.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!