Hello Muffy, I'm sorry you too have had to join this club.
I agree with Christine that you should do further reading on HPV.
My husbands Oropharyngeal cancer was HPV positive. It has absolutely been no big deal for either of us. Why would it be. We have been monogamous for over 30 years. Who knows where or who from he contracted this virus? It may have been me. Who knows. Who cares.
At least 80% of the population will catch this virus at some time in their lives. Most clear it. Some catch it again, clear it again. In A very small percentage of people, their immune system does not clear this virus and many years later they develop a cancer. It is not possible for your most recent boyfriend to have been the cause of your HPV cancer.
So don't beat yourself up. Feel free to kiss your cat, your partner , your son and whoever else you want to. You won't give them HPV.
Glad you are getting on with getting this treated
By the way, the HPV vaccination is available to all under the age of 26 years
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!