Oh Lori - I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, but it happens to so many of us - even caregivers! You've already been through so much and looking at your sinature info, you did have a clear PET back in March which sounds like a good thing to me. If you are depressed, that's something that is temporary and there is help for that. When my son was going through treatment, he had meds for depression and was also in therapy for help with depression. If you are still on meds, sometimes the meds can make you have sad thoughts, too. It would be good if you could check with your doctors and tell them what's happening with you. Look on your prescription bottles to see what side effects there are. You know my son used to post on here but only did for a very short time because he said it made him so sad so what I did was copy stuff from this form that I thought would help him and I only gave him the positive news. Maybe you could just read comments that help you feel positive. Helping someone else with the benefits of your experiences can help you feel better, too. But please do check with your doctor. He/she may want to change your meds or give you something to help you feel better. Let us know what's happening with you, ok?