I am not sure if this is the right place for this topic, and I apologize if it is not, so please feel free to move it to a more appropriate place in that case. I also apologize if this has already been discussed in the past, I searched and could not find it.

I have been extremely conflicted about telling by ex boyfriends about the whole HPV thing since learning about it.I have asked a bunch of medical people, talked to friends, even counselors, and still do not know what to do.
The doctors say that I am in no way obliged to disclose this by law and in general their answer is no, but things are not that black/white correct? Obviously, one can never know whom one got the virus from, or when, or a lots of other things.
I can not help but feel that it is my moral obligation to disclose this as ultimately, these men might end up going through something similar some years down the line, and I would feel horrible if that happened and I never warned them to get checked etc.
Most of my friends think that I should tell nothing. There are very few people to tell, and each case, at the end of those long relationships I was left quite heartbroken, I am not friends with them, we do not even talk etc. I really do not want to have to talk to either of them ever again. I am very scared of their reactions: that they might get really mad and yell and accuse me of transmitting them the virus, that they would rather not know, etc. On the other thing, I think I would be able to sleep better at night if I did tell. But I know that there are no clinically approved tests for men for HPV (or am I wrong?). And my most recent ex-boyfriend is a heavy drinker and occasional smoker, which I well know increases the risk. For all that is worth, my cervical HPV tests came negative which makes the whole situation even more bizarre for me.

So what are your thoughts? Should one disclose this? Would you want to know if the situation were reversed?

These are people I used to love at some point in my life and despite everything I would never want anything bad to happen to them. Sigh...

36, female, left tonsil HPV+ SCC, T2N1
8/28/13 SCC in left tonsil
9/12/13 surgery:TORS and selective neck dissection (levels II-IV), 23 nodes removed
9/18/13 post surgery biopsy: 2mm clear margins, a 7mm lymph node positive in level IV, no ECL
10/28/13 rad begins, 30 treatments, tomotherapy
12/09/13 radiation ends!
2/10/14 papillary thyroid cancer
2/26/14 PET shows clear neck other than thyroid cancer, but with high uptake in an ovarian cyst
2/27/14 thyroidectomy
3/5/14 pelvic ultrasound