Hi Lotsa

Alex had the same issues. He declined to eat until he was 105 lbs (he is 6'1") was hospitalised to be fed with a pump over a 10 hour period everyday through a PEG.

Alex, too, complained of "feeling full" after 3 spoonsful or gulps of formula. If I pushed him, and he had the 4th, he threw up. This led me to doing a little research to try and figure out what was going on.

This is what I learned:
1. chemotherapy (and radiation) causes mucositis. Whilst radiation causes it wherever the beams were aimed, the effects of chemo goes all the way through the gastro-intestinal tract. This means that your husbands feeling full and consequent failure to eat is not a wilful thing so hassling him about it probably won't work. Trying to find a way round is your best shot. For Alex, it was pump feeding overnight for months and then 2 mouthfuls of Ensure Plus every half hour or so. Painfully slow, extremely annoying but we found no other way. Hopefully your husband can try the slow sips method and not have to resort to the pump.

2. A shift in thinking needs to happen so that you and your husband stop thinking about food as a fun thing to do and start thinking about it as a part of treatment. Just like a nasty antibiotic that makes one feel ill, a smart person will keep taking it because they know it is making them better - even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

3. Trying to stimulate appetite based on things he likes (or used to like) is mostly a waste of time as by the time he eats it, his appetite is likely to have gone, the food tastes wrong, that feeling of fullness will sabotage his best intentions or all of the preceding. Try finding things that are easy and quick to prepare, and can be made in small batches or will last all day.

Alex eventually got used to Ensure Plus - the turning point was when he started treating it as "treatment" not food. However, it took him months to get to this place. In the interim, he was made to feel like a failure by me, his doctors and our well meaning friends. Try to protect your husband from this sort of criticism - it is not productive. Approach the issue as a problem solving exercise but make sure he is aware that if the problem cannot be solved, PEG is the next option, and possibly hospitalisation. He doesn't need to be told this over and over (as I did with Alex and which is my greatest regret)as your husband will know this and repeating it will not solve the problem or cause him to try harder.

Assuming he is well aware of the consequences, he is not being wilful, he just can't.

Having said all that, he DOES need to be encouraged to push himself right to the limit as this WILL give him an easier time of his treatment.

good luck - this was the hardest part of Alex's journey and it should not be underestimated.