(((Shawn)))
It maddens me that your doc was so inattentive that he couldn't execute a script. And it maddens me that it all does happen so fast, when we are so ridiculously scared and vulnerable. Please don't kick yourself for sticking with that goofball. Try to remember how far more frightening it would have been at that moment to fire him, find a replacement and start over.
DonFoo once posted that he revisits choices only to look at what was good and bad, not to second-guess the decision made. That stuck with me.
You are definitely not the only with regrets; I wouldn't have surgery if I'd known I couldn't avoid chemo anyway. But there was no way for me to know that. And the benefit is that we got the tumor out of my airway.
You have a beautiful spirit, Shawn. Don't dampen it with regret, keep it aimed at the present moment and your future.
(((HUGS)))
Mama
53
T3N2aM0 HPV+
5/26/13 discovered painless superball-sized lymph node in neck
6/26/13 DX SCC R palatine tonsil
7/16/13 TORS tonsillectomy & selective ND, mets to 2 nodes
9/3/13 Cisplatin and rads begin, tolerated 1.5 of 3 planned chemo doses
10/16/13 Treatment ends
Dec 13 Ulcer appears at surgery site
Jan 17 Biopsy -- no cancer!
Feb 17 CT/PET Scan lights up tonsil bed & nasal cavity, docs say probably inflammation, don't panic, rescan when ulcer subsides
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