Hi Debo,
Welcome to OCF. WOW - you found us very quickly. This site one of the very select that offers solid information and first-hand experiences from those with head and neck cancers.

First, take a deep breath. The cancer is not going to spread like a wildfire and change the landscape in a day, week, or even a month. This assumes you have been notified early on; if he is just sending you an email at some time after diagnosis, treatment, recovery, his condition today can vary greatly.

My recommendation is to get on the phone and find out what is going on - all the questions you listed as needing answers. Then you can make a more informed decision on what to do after asking lots of questions and learning a lot about his specific situation.

Every case is different, so having as much detail about his condition and past and planned treatments would be very useful to receive more thorough and accurate comments.

Best to you, don