Hi Dave,

The numbers are a "no win" thing for your mind.
First, of all neither you nor your doctors know what your personal outcome will be. I seems dr's have an urge to tell you something so they resort to statistics that are fine for a group or for discussions of what treatments work. These numbers are virtually meaningless for you. How will you survive 30%? (or 50% or 75%). The simple fact is you either survive this cancer(100%) or you don't (0%). You might choose treatments based on the survival statistics, but you can't know the outcome, only time will tell.

Imagine this: if some one was to bet you $1 on a coin toss you might say sure 50/50 (50%) isn't such a bad deal you might win so you go for it.
You might agree for say even $100 or $1000 but at some dollar amount you will hesitate $10,000 for instance. Even though the odds are the same as the $1 bet. A lot of us seem to reach a point where the mind sees nothing but the chance of loosing and then gets a distorted view. The chance of loosing becomes overwhelming.

With this cancer we now have everything on the bet. We tend to have a problem seeing that there is a pretty good chance the disease is cured after the treatments are complete. Just as in the coin toss there are winners, there are survivors even if the odds are not in the high numbers.

Yes this is a life threat, it is real and you might die from it. On the other hand you might live a long life without any other problems or get hit by a bus two hours from now. The difference is not about the survival but in how you live in the mean time. Every moment is a gift and it has been that way since you were born. Now you have a sharp awareness of that fact and you are still living! Isn't that a joy? laugh

Stop worrying and start living. Don't look so far ahead, you never have been able to see the future so don't try now. Just live for now, this moment, today and enjoy it. Sure get your will updated, do the things you always wanted to do. Simplify your life, refuse stress, tell the people you love what you feel. And practice not worrying! As Gary said "life is terminal" so make good use of it.

Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.