Hi Ken,
I also had stage IV SCC in my jaw and had to have the lower left half removed. They replaced the jaw with the bone from my leg and I had the neck disection. I had my surgery on April 16th 2003 and finished radiation that July. So far so good, with a few scares along the way. My leg gives me lots of trouble now, it's weak and aches alot. I also find myself favoring my good leg which causes more strain on the right hip. My jaw if stiff and my neck is also, although my shoulder is reasonably normal. All in all, I'm alive and get to see my childrens faces every day. I was 41 when I was diagnosed and it scared the you know what out of me. My life is forever changed but it's still a very full, enjoyable life. I still feel homesick for the "old me" every now and again but I get over it quicker as time goes on.
Nikki, I'm pretty sure Tom is hitting that horrible depression you have heard all of us talk about. It was my darkest time and I still vividly remember how I felt. If my feeling of responsibility to my children had not been so incredibly strong, I would have crawled in bed and simply allowed myself to die, that's how scared and hopeless I felt. Just be there for him and remind him that this stage is part of he process. Take care of yourself also.

Welcome Ken! We're happy to have you.
Minnie