Hi everyone,

I'm a 39 year old, married mum of two (3 & 5yrs) living down in New Zealand. I'm hoping this is nothing but it's lovely to have someone else to share my worries with who understands what I'm going through at this early non-diagnosed stage.

I've got an enlarged right lymph node, about 4.5cm. Had what I thought was a swollen lymph node in this area several years ago and had an ultrasound and was told it was a cyst and to come back if it got bigger or caused any problems.

Noticed the current large swelling (which I think is in a slightly different place) about 6-12 months ago and presumed it was the cyst again. Mentioned it to my PCP in April this year and she sent me for another ultrasound. I completely expected the next step to be just a fluid aspiration. Instead I got sent to the emergency ward at the hospital two days later - chest x-ray (clear), FNA of the node and CT scan.

CT showed an enlarged lymph node and several other rounded nodes on the same side. Biopsy showed some strange results but most of all was that it contained epithelial cells and was positive for panCK and Bcl-2. Got referred to a Head and Neck surgeon.

Met with the surgeon last Thursday (16 May) who stuck a camera up my nose and down my throat and noticed "asymmetry in the base of my tongue with fullness in the region of the lingual tonsil extending to the vallecula without any obvious ulceration".

He's concerned that this could be a BOT cancer and has me booked in for a pharangoscopy (camera down my throat) and tongue biopsy next Tuesday (28th May) under general anaesthetic. We're having another consultation with him on the Friday 31st to plan further treatment and then I'm booked in for surgery to have the node removed (+ anything else needed) on Wednesday 5th June. They're going to biopsy the "mass" at the same time while I'm still on the table and if it's malignant he's advised that a neck dissection would be performed at he same time.

I'm still hoping that it turns out to be nothing but they also seem to be preparing me for bad news. Is this normal?

What can you all tell me about your experiences 'before' you were diagnosed? I feel fine and if it wasn't for this bump sticking out of my neck I'd be none the wiser.

Thanks for your help & support & for listening to my rant. My friends & family are great and very supportive but everyone keeps saying "it'll be alright" and it's nice to have someone to talk to in case it's not alright.

Cheerio from NZ,
Mel.