Hi Mary, having also been in the recurrence club I do know how devastating this news is to you both.
Like Christine, I would get this treated as quickly as you can.
I too would want to know if there is a surgical option available. Surgery followed by chemo would be my preferred option if that is available.
A second opinion at a CCC may help clarify your options and expedite treatment.
Try and take a deep breath. We are all here to listen and help,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!