Phew! Your post made me very concerned!

Malnutrition and dehydration can very quickly become life threatening. Im so glad you called the doc and took him to the ER for fluids. It happened to me so I know how lousy you can feel when dehydration hits. Im hoping your husband is feeling much better after getting hydrated.

Your surgery was a major one and to me it sounds like you both could use someone to help you for at least 2 or 3 weeks. You need a caregiver yourself right now. Are you able to get a home health aid or visiting nurse for a few weeks? If not, are there any relatives who can visit for little while to give you a hand? Maybe someone from church or another organization. Think of all the people who offered to help you and said to let them know if you need anything.... its time to call them on it and ask for some help. Maybe finding a few people to each take 2 days and then rotate them for the next few weeks until you are back on your feet.

I know your husband needs a caregiver while going thru treatments. If you arent able to do it right now try your best to think of people who offered their help and take them up on it. Dont be shy or too proud to ask for help. Friends and relatives who said they would help are really there and just dont know what they can do to help you. Line up someone for driving and then have a back up. Call the American Cancer Society and ask for a volunteer driver. They can take your husband back and forth to his treatments or doctor appointments. I am a volunteer driver, after I used them a couple times when I got well I helped out others who needed a hand.

I would think your husbands radiation doctor or his medical oncologist is who can order the visiting nurse and feeding pump. If not ask for a dietitian to be assigned to your husbands case. They can be a huge help! Talk to the doc who is prescribing all those drugs. Does he really need to take all that or could he go on something like the fentanyl patch. That has specific instructions that need to be followed to the T, like no long hot baths or showers, never cut, tear, rip, bend or fold the patch. Change it every 72 hours (3 days) and always put it on a new spot. Then your husband could just take extra pain meds for any break thru pain. When taking strong meds like he is on, its impossible to remember when he took what which can lead to his confusion. Maybe a chart would help, when taking a medication, write it down when and how much so he will have a record and not take too much.

I wish I lived closer, I would help you both.

Good luck with everything, I know you have your hands full!!!


PS... For the radiation burns, ask for a prescription of Beta-Val cream. Pat it on his sore skin, never rub it in as his delicate skin can tear. Never put it on prior to going to rads. I would carry it with me and pat it on my neck on the way home from treatment, then again after a shower and before going to bed. By patting it on, it wont bother his sore skin and let it soak in. Its ok to walk around with it looking like a lifeguards nose (but its on his neck).