Wendy, I'm sorry to hear that Steves surgery has not gone as planned. I know this is very harrowing for you both and especially for you as his wife and caregiver when you just want to make it as easy as possible for him .
Thank goodness for Christine and her advice and experience. I dont have any specific advice as I haven't been down this track.
All I can say is that when Kris had his salvage surgery last year I too was concerned as to how he would cope with the after effects, especially on his psyche. The SLT suggested an antidepressant and Kris and I both agreed to go down that path - before he got depressed. He started on Citalopram on about day 5 post op. They take about 3 weeks to kick in so I wanted to start them as soon as possible.
Well he did cope well, he may even have not needed the pills, but I did not want him to be dealing with a major depression on top of everything else.
I weaned him off the pills about 3 months post op and he hasn't looked back. Just a suggestion.
Hope Steves condition improves quickly now,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!