No problem Helen I don't mind the hijacking. You can do it like I said Chin up. It's your life you just need to take charge of you sences, speek up when you need pain relief, and keep telling yourself that all this is a means to an end. Fight fight fight, I remember getting up in the middle of the night every hour on the hour to clear my throat and wipe off and reapply radiation cream to my neck, I would say to myself "OK get back in bed and get 60 more minutes of sleep" that's how it goes sometimes just one hour at a time. But it seemed to me that it was all over in no time at all. If it turns out that I need the surgery I will put all my concentration into getting the job done and healing as fast as possible...