First of all there is nothing shameful about having HPV. Most of us do by the time we are in our 50s. I am assuming your diagnosis came from cervical PAP smear that came back positive for HPV? And the second one came back negative for HPV? That means that your body did what it does 99.9% of the time and cured itself. This means you do not have HPV.

If I have everything above correct, you do not need to be concerned that you have HPV that is going to cause oral cancer.

Now onto your fear of oral cancer in general. It is perfectly understandable that you would fear this given your mother died from it (same in my family with breast cancer) and this works in your favour because you will always be watchful. The trick is not to get paranoid about it and not to let it overtake your life.

Good that you are asking for help from your doctor and dentist. The likelihood that your ear pain is because of an unseen cancer somewhere in your mouth is actually not very high and the chances of this being referred pain because of a tooth extraction is much more likely.

However, you are doing the right thing by being vigilant and I would suggest you do as the dentist suggests - wait for the stitches to come out and THEN do the special test. But your dentist needs to be able to see a spot or a sore to test, so don't be surprised if they tell you they can't and prescribe antibiotics instead.

Keep a watch but try not be too concerned until you are over the tooth extraction and the dentist has determined there is no infection or has treated the infection.

You are already doing the best thing you can do to avoid oral cancer by not smoking and drinking. You can also maintain good oral hygiene and have the dentist check for sores or "strange" patches at every check up.