Sounds like you are taking some positive steps towards getting on with your life. You've been through such a tough time with everything that's happened. Good for you for the deal you got on eBay! Also, remodeling a kitchen can really be a great positive in one's life. (I did it almost a year ago and am still finishing up with it!) If you still have concerns re your surgeon's reaction to the trismus, your thoughts on asking for a referral to Univ of Michigan sounds like a good idea and can get your questions or concerns answered especially regarding ways to control pain (w/ botox, Vit. E, etc). Absolutely you should Not allow anyone to make you feel like you are dropping through the cracks. "Pushing a little" is in order. Do it! And let us know what happens.