Charlotte, I, too, apologize for your post being overlooked. Here is a suggestion. Ask your husband's doctor about hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I say this because I just had it to cause new vasculature to grow in previously radiated mandible, so that dental extractions will heal. They treat all manner of conditions with hyperbaric, including non-healing wounds. This may not be applicable to your situation if the bone is truly dead, but it really might be worth checking out. With regard to the lymphedema, ask your doctor/nurse/physical therapist to show you lateral massage. This is a gentle back and forth motion with two fingers, that directs the lymph to other places. It was very successful for me following modified radical neck surgery. From reading the posts, you have probably seen that recovery is different for everyone. It is too bad that we aren't all born with an unlimited supply of patience, because that is surely what is needed for all caregivers and patients. Hang in there, Charlotte, and let us know how Joe is doing.