Welcome Shirl. Well, you kind of already answered your own question as you are now started on this website. There are several more specific threads for specific answers but your off to good start. If you put some info about yourself in the signature box on your profile, people will be able to help with the issues you are facing. You have a big battle ahead and support from people who have been there is of great value. Best of luck.

David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.