Well, here goes.... took everyones advice and went back to see family physician--who was extremely upset with the ENT he sent me to. My family doctor believes he knows what he is looking at. He finally confessed that the reason he sent me to the ENT is because he already has another patient who presented with the exact same thing I did...and it was cancer! Now I know that a lot of you here will say that "it is not cancer until a biopsy confirms that it is cancer!" However, I did get a referal to the ENT who performed the tonsillectomy in July/03. The ENT scheduled me for a biopsy on Jan 21/04 (roughly 3 weeks from now). The ENT feels that the hole in my tongue is very suspicious and cannot believe that the first ENT did not schedule me for a biopsy right away. This ENT happens to be the head of the OMA (Ontario Medical Association, Ontario Canada) and will get full justification from the first ENT for not having done his job properly! Nonetheless, I am somewhat nervous but also fully prepared for what may lye ahead. The thing that bothers me most of all right now is that the hole in my tongue has enlargened significantly and no one it seems can tell me what it is. Furthermore, I have tried to make everyone in my family feel at ease over the holidays by showing them I wasn't going to let this thing bother me. I ate non-stop eating all kinds of holiday goodies (like I never had in the past) and lost four pounds in the process. How in the hell do you eat non-stop... cookies, cakes, chocolate, turkey, pasta, seafood, potato, stuffing, rice, etc., and lose weight? Especially eating junk food! Just my subconscious taking over? I did not want to post prior to today because I did not want to take away from others in the forum who really need friendly and spiritual advice over the holidays and who are confirmed and need extra help right now. I am not going to panic and I will wait to find out what the this hole in my tongue is. I have gone to book a family vacation for March break regardless of what the biopsy reveals. I need it and my family needs it too. We have been through so much in the last two years that anyone in our position would have probably gone a bit insane by now. I lost my mother-in-law to cancer in 2001 diagnosed JAN 21 and died Feb 5. Two weeks after that my brother-in-law, age 26, died in a horrible truck accident in New York State on Feb 20. Three months after that, his first and only son was born and will never meet his father. In order to console my baby sister, who had become the youngest widow our family has ever known, we dedicated as much time to her as possible and our family business which took 5 long and hard years to build went down the drain. It has taken me 2 years to build a new business to help support our large family. And now...my wife has been diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis which is going to cripple her before age 40 and she's only 34! So as you can see....Life has been just great to my family over the last 2 years. WOW...talk about taking a load off! Sorry, it's been building up over the last few days. I know one thing, I am not confirmed and will only try and think positive thoughts until I get the results of the biopsy. And IF IF IF it is...then I will fight hard to do whatever I have to do to stay around a lot longer. I admit that it is my own fault too, I smoked and KNEW what could happen. I am so sorry for the younger people here who didn't smoke and still became acquainted with this horrible disease. I myself am only 40 years young...Hey...is this what mid-life crisis is? LMAO . Thanks to Fr Mike for his prayers and hope that my prayers reach each and every one of you here as well. God Bless and keep on fighting!